Wednesday, 17 September 2008

come one come all

personally, I am never first at anything but I will give most stuff a try.

it is a tenet of the church that one should face each challenge, attempt every leap and essay every adventure.

At least then you can have a good laugh over a pint about how stupid you lookd as you realised you had packed your parachute wrong or realised you couldn't swim faster than tht shark.

Wednesday, 20 August 2008

supporting sloth

you can't help but notice that people a re getting lazier and that it seems the lazier we get the more medicine steps in to keep us ticking over.
A couple of generations back people worked hard and died younger.

Just think, if we worked as hard as our grandparents and had today's medical support what sort of ages would we be attaining.

So, the church advocates getting off your lazy ass and doing something.
Ditch a couple of power hungry labour saving devices and work up a sweat

Tuesday, 5 August 2008

Today I learned about polyamory

in an article about an open marriage. The interviewee said that they weren't swingers who exchange partners for purely sexual reasons but that she was in fact polyamorous meaning that she had two partners because she truly loved them both.
Here at the church we do not have an opinion on polyamory but we due encourage all members to be polyannerous in that we aim for sickeningly happy, positive,optomistic attitudes to a wide range of situations.

Wednesday, 11 June 2008

saving the planet

when the world was created there was balance, the circle of life was, indeed, a circle and all was in balance.
Food chains really worked then, plants were eaten by small creatures who were eaten by big creatures who, in turn were eaten by the biggest beasts who then left bodily wastes (and ultimately their ancient corpses) to nourish the plants and trees. In that time the bear did indeed sh*t in the forest.
Now the chain is broken, mankind has destroyed vast swathes of woodland, poisoned rivers and wiped out links in the chain. Te circle of life has lost it's shape and the future is also pretty pear shaped.

Here at the church of the terminally bemused we have hit on a positive contribution which can be made by every one of us, it is local, needs no skill and has no cost. Our solution crosses the boundaries of nationality, religion, age, gender etc

we ask all of you to find your nearest plant, forest, greenplace and void your bowels in it's vicinity forthwith.

Saturday, 23 February 2008

What we must all do

As we drift\march\meander\rush through life we need to see the frogs around us and try to take time to snog the odd frog. This doesn't necessarily mean literally (although i personally know amphibians who wouldn't protest over much.

In the fairy tales the snogged frog becomes a prince and I'm convinced that by snogging the frogs we meet we will find a little bit of princedom in them and a heck of a lot of richness in ourselves

Tuesday, 12 February 2008

read this if you don't think you are one of the 'beautiful people'

you understand. As you go through life you see people who haven't quite made it and you know how it feels.
Now is the time to pull it together, together the also rans can make a difference and on a level playing field each persons gifts and treasures will shine more clearly........

Read this if you are one of the 'beautiful people'

you have been blessed with beauty, wit, intelligence etc and that must feel good so now it's payback time.
Look around you, see the people who aren't in your league, think about how you can share your gifts........

Sunday, 10 February 2008

we must help those less fortunate

Today sees the launch of our new campaign to offer support to a very marginalized group.

I am talking, of course, about Amorous amphibians and in particular frogs and toads.

The campaign will be called SNOGAFROG

Watch this space, more later

Wednesday, 23 January 2008

A communal meal

in an attempt to draw members of the church together it has been decided to hold a communal meal.
Please bring something along to share but I better like it!